


Love Me Stage Left; Soonhoon

by kwanies



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Do with that information what you will, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I decided to indulge myself hehe, I promise you don't need to have seen Grease to understand what's going on in this, M/M, Oh yeah other idols make cameos, Pining, Seventeen are theatre kids performing in their school's production of Grease
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28322601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwanies/pseuds/kwanies
Summary: Jihoon has enough on his plate; school is one thing, but balancing class with his responsibilities as stage manager to a highschool reenactment of Grease is something else. Their director is unqualified, the band kids are better at flirting with the cast than they are at playing their instruments, and - above all else - this is the drama department’s last chance to make a stand. If the turnout isn’t impressive, if all their hard work doesn’t amount to something great, funding could be totally cut for next year. So, yeah, Jihoon is a little stressed.Having a colossal crush on his best friend isn’t making things any easier.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 34
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone, and happy holidays !!! i actually started writing this bad boy in june, but i wanted to wait for a period in my life wherein i'd be able to post semi-regular updates before putting up the first chapter ... my personal life is still pretty busy, and i can't guarantee that i'll be able to update every week / every other week, but i thought this would be a nice little christmas gift :') (and, at the very least, it'll give me incentive to keep up with my writing).
> 
> i'm actually excited for this one, i think it'll be really cute hehe. i hope you all like it too !!!
> 
> sending lots of hugs & love for the holidays – mwuah <3

**18 NOVEMBER**

It’s stupid, really, it’s _idiotic_ how quickly Jihoon’s mood can change – and for just one simple reason! Not even a good one. He just feels dumb, honestly.

But the weather is horrible and dreary today and the sky outside is grey, the wet, brown leaves blowing off their branches from the wind, and Jihoon feels awfully tired and miserable … and then Soonyoung takes a seat beside him. He’s not graceful about it – in fact, he’s loud as hell and boisterous in the way he announces himself to the table – but he throws his tray down with an obnoxious clatter and beams at Jihoon, and he asks, “How’s your day so far?” and Jihoon just can’t help smiling up at him.

“Good, it’s good.”

Soonyoung is practically _rattling_ with pent up energy, his legs bouncing up and down fast enough to make the bench under them shake. He grins, “Guess what just happened.”

“What?” Joshua asks.

“No, you gotta _guess_.”

Minghao rolls his eyes. “We’re not guessing.”

“I’ll guess,” Seokmin offers, and Minghao tsks. “Did you, uh … Did you drop your phone in the toilet again?” Jihoon snorts, and Soonyoung’s expression goes flat.

“You think I’d be this happy if that was the case?”

“I can never really tell with you, actually.”

Jihoon nudges him, and his voice comes out sounding gruff despite his smile. “What happened?”

As if for dramatic effect, Soonyoung pauses, looking up and down the table, before telling them, “Yours truly has just been given the main role in the school’s production of _Grease_. Yes, I’m playing a white boy, and yes, my name is Danny. If you laugh I’ll kick you.” Still, Vernon laughs.

Jihoon laughs, too. He says something like _How is someone like_ you _going to play a 70s greaser?_ , but he can’t help swooning a little – _just_ a little, like, a teeny tiny bit – because of _course_ Soonyoung got the role. With the way he acts, with his passion and his energy, who else could it have been?

It’s one of the things he admires most about Soonyoung: his absolute dedication to the things he loves. And Soonyoung’s been doing theatre since middle school. That’s just about six years that Jihoon has spent watching his best friend act from the sidelines, taking on the role of stage manager himself. He’s not so keen on being the center of attention as he is helping out behind the scenes, and he likes being able to stand off to the side of the stage and watch Soonyoung fall into his role so naturally. He’s always wonderful, but the way he radiates pride and happiness when he performs is something Jihoon will never get over.

Obviously, though, he’d never say any of that out loud. Definitely not.

When the table settles a little, after a discussion on who got what roles (Seungkwan as Sonny, Seokmin as Doody, Chan as Putzie, and Junhui as Kenickie – what Jihoon thinks has got to be the most chaotic casting of the T-Birds in the history of _Grease_ performances), and a strong warning from Seungkwan to Vernon (“If you pull some disco shit with the lights again this year I will _actually_ put you on PDA probation”), Minghao coughs to grab their attention.

“You guys heard about the funding situation, didn’t you?” A quick glance around the table tells Jihoon that no, actually, most of them haven’t. Only Mingyu and Jun nod their heads.

Jeonghan asks, “What do you mean?”

“Well, basically, state-wide funding is being cut for all ‘nonessential programs’ at schools, ‘cause, you know, in _this_ economy … I guess those programs include anything arts-related.” Jihoon squints, confused, but Jeonghan beats him to the chase.

“How does that work? Our school’s main thing is arts, that’s basically what it’s known for.”

“Yeah, I don’t think the government cares, to be honest. I don’t know how it’s gonna go for now, but I’m thinking we’ll be struggling by this time next year. I mean, the school as a whole will be struggling. I know, I know,” Minghao adds when Soonyoung opens his mouth, “it’s ridiculous. But maybe there’ll be a way around it? I guess we have to wait until someone tells us.”

“I’m sure the director will know.”

“Oh, yeah, speaking of – do we know who’s directing this year?”

“Heechul, duh. He’s been doing it for the last four years, hasn’t he?”

There’s a collective groan at this, Chan leaning his head back and whining, “That guy _still_ has a job here?”

Wonwoo says, “He’s not that bad,” but it comes out so weak it can hardly be considered a defense. Which, there isn’t anything really _wrong_ with Heechul – as a person. As a director, well … better things could be said about his ability to lead a group of teenagers in highschool drama.

The disappointment at this bit of information launches them into a new round of discussion, moving on from the issue of funding. Talking about who else auditioned, who else got what part, the fact that Seungkwan is going to have to pretend to be a womanizer and actually _flirt_ _with_ _girls_. If Heechul is still directing then Jihoon is bound to be stage manager again, assisted by Joshua and Jeonghan and probably a few others. Jihoon would like to say he’s unaffected when Soonyoung turns to him and says, “At this point, I’m not sure I could trust anyone else with that job,” but really, his heart grows two sizes bigger.

He just scoffs. “Yeah, I wouldn’t trust anyone else, either.”

**23 NOVEMBER**

First rehearsal comes in a storm of papers to fill out, calendars, rules and policies, and a read-through. Jihoon doesn’t pay too much attention to the script initially, busying himself with schedules and the roster of contact information, but he hears Soonyoung laugh at one point and instinctively looks up from his laptop. The boy is smiling up to his eyes, looking at one of the other actors – this girl, Chaeyoung.

Jihoon leans over to Josh and asks, “Who’s she playing again?”

“Chaeyoung? She’s Sandy.”

“What character is that?”

“Jihoon, you have to know who Sandy is.”

“I forgot,” Jihoon mumbles, shrugging.

“Sandy, like, the female lead? She’s Danny’s love interest. So it’s a good thing she and Soonyoung seem to be getting along. It’d be kinda awkward if they hated each other and had to kiss.”

And then, so suddenly, Jihoon blanks. Head empty. Like, totally empty.

He zones out long enough for Josh to wave a hand in front of him and say, “Hello? Earth to Jihoon? Don’t freak out, it’s not like they’ll fall in love.” Which, sure enough, does the trick.

Jihoon blinks and reels back, first out of surprise, and then out of embarrassment. “I wasn’t - thinking about that, I just - I forgot that was a thing that would happen.” Joshua laughs lightly.

“The whole point of the story is Danny and Sandy getting together. You’ve seen the movie, haven’t you?”

“Of course, but, I mean. I didn’t know we’d be doing … kisses and stuff.”

He feels like a child when he says it, all squirmy and shy. Joshua leans back in his chair with a mixture of pity and amusement (more amusement though, the asshole) coming over his face. “We never cut out kiss scenes. But they’re really only pecks, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jihoon mumbles. He pretends to be busy again, forcing his eyes away from Soonyoung and back on his work, and he pretends he can’t feel Josh still watching him.

He feels a little slow for not catching on sooner, needing Josh to explain it word for word. In his defense, though, he _did_ forget who Sandy was – and Soonyoung’s never played a role where he needed to kiss anyone. It’s just a little unusual. Jihoon shouldn’t get worked up over it – and he _won’t_ get worked up, he refuses to spend his energy on something so trivial – but … it feels weird. Jihoon is uncharacteristically sensitive about these things. He can still remember the first time Soonyoung kissed someone (to his knowledge); it was at homecoming, freshman year, and Jihoon cried when he got home that night.

He’s really never like this. He gives himself credit for keeping his cool most of the time, taking careful steps and watching what he says, always calm, relaxed – _never mind that Soonyoung makes all that effort pointless_ – and really, he’s not worried. A back-stage romance would only be the most cliché thing to happen, anyway.

It’s just – the thought. The _knowing_ that Soonyoung can get so close to someone, and it won’t be Jihoon. That he doesn’t have to be in love but he’ll hold someone’s hand, and he’ll kiss them, and it’ll probably happen to a dozen different _someones_ over time – but it’ll never be Jihoon.

“Hey, guys?” A shout pulls him out of his thoughts, and Jihoon looks up for the source. Heechul stands in the middle of the room with his arms up, as if he isn’t noticeable enough just standing normally, and waits an unnecessarily long time to make sure he’s got everyone’s attention. When he’s certain, he starts.

“So, you all might’ve heard the news about the funding for next year. In case you haven’t, I thought I’d just briefly explain it.” He repeats what Minghao had told them at lunch, and at one point Jihoon catches Soonyoung’s eye. He gives a small smile, not his typical cheesy grin, but something very gentle, a little bit nervous. Something private. Jihoon takes a mental photograph to keep for himself. And then Heechul’s voice hits him again.

“But hey! Don’t stress about it, right guys? We think that maybe if the school can make a good case for its arts department, we won’t have to worry too much.”

The attempt at comforting them falls a little flat, nobody really buys into it, and they all continue with rehearsal as normal, if a little more subdued in spirit.

+

Later, on their walk home, Jihoon brings it up again.

“First rehearsal down,” Soonyoung tells him. “Feeling the pressure?”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, it’s insane. This is my last chance to go all out as stage manager before the school loses its main source of funding, after all.” He says this, and he doesn’t miss the way Soonyoung’s smile slips a bit.

“Hey, come on. You heard Heechul. It’s not a hundred percent, yet.”

“Right, but … I mean, how sure did he sound? We don’t even know what he meant by ‘making a case.’ Like, are we sending emails to our local senator? Signing petitions? I don’t get it.”

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

Soonyoung’s voice is soft, and he’s not smiling anymore, but his expression is placid and thoughtful. Rehearsal ran until 5pm. The sun is starting to fall, the autumn chill is setting in and Jihoon tugs the sleeves of his sweater past his palms. When the sky goes rosy pink, tinted orange like those peonies Jihoon’s mom likes to set on their dinner table, Soonyoung glows underneath it. Jihoon gets this feeling in his chest, a horrible ache, because all he wants to do is stop in the middle of the street and hold his face between his palms.

He doesn’t, though. Obviously.

He swallows. “Of course we will. Things always work out, eventually.”

“But what if they don’t?” Soonyoung asks, and suddenly he looks anxious. Jihoon snorts.

“You just said it yourself, we’ll figure it out. We’ll be fine! Seriously, I doubt the school is gonna give up drama. If - If we have to rely on fundraisers and gathering more parent volunteers, or … I dunno. Whatever it is, we’ll make it work.”

Soonyoung looks at him out of the corner of his eye, and Jihoon tries hard to focus on the ground. When Soonyoung grabs his hand all of a sudden, squeezing it lightly, he puffs out a laugh. “Come on,” he says, and Jihoon can hear the smile through his voice. He squeezes back.

It’s just this thing they do, and Soonyoung is always the one to start it. Hand-holding, looping their arms together, head against the shoulder; he’s touchy and clingy and finds comfort in being close, and Jihoon has never ever pushed him away. It must have started around middle school? Or maybe ninth grade, once they had been friends for a little while already. Before Jihoon had realized just how much he liked his best friend.

“I was serious at lunch today, though,” Soonyoung tells him. “Like, I really wouldn’t trust anyone else with such a big job. No one else has the patience and the nerve and - and the work ethic to do it like you do.” Jihoon shrugs, feeling the heat crawl up his neck. He’s not good at taking compliments, even less so when Soonyoung is the one complimenting him. He gets unbearably flustered.

“It’s nothing. I just try my best.”

Soonyoung bumps him with his arm, grinning when Jihoon stumbles a little, and _God._ The smallest things make his heart flutter; big, fat, feathery wings ruffling up against his ribcage and tickling his chest. He half expects himself to cough up a plume.

Soonyoung only untangles their fingers when they reach Jihoon’s house, just a block away from his own, and they start to say goodbye. Jihoon flexes his hand, and he imagines short whispers running along the lines of his palm.

He feels them, too, actually, even after he’s gone inside and waved goodbye through his window, even after he watches Soonyoung walk down the street until he can’t see him anymore, he feels it. This buzzing energy running through him, this feeling he’s become so familiar with but somehow can never get used to. Small stars and bursts of light nestled between his bones, erupting at every touch, every bit of eye contact, and glowing long after the fact. It almost makes him queasy.

So he trudges to his room and doesn’t bother showering, too exhausted to do anything other than change and flop onto his bed, and he tries not to think about how he feels. He’s pretty sure that the most important thing to do when getting over someone is to not think about them. But that’s just so hard, isn’t it? When Soonyoung is such a big part of his life, someone so important to Jihoon, when he’s a dream in person and very, very hard _not_ to think about – how can he be expected to?

Jihoon thinks he gave up on that endeavor a while ago.

**25 NOVEMBER**

Later that week, Soonyoung is at his house. They had their second rehearsal two days prior and now Jihoon is in the middle of sourcing the props they’ll need, trying to multitask by arranging costume fittings at the same time. Soonyoung is supposed to be practicing his lines – and he was, laying on Jihoon’s bed and quietly holding the script to his face, scanning the lines dutifully – but Jihoon thinks he gave up on that an hour ago. He’s pretty much been scrolling through his phone ever since.

At one point, he sits up and stares directly at Jihoon … who ignores him.

“Jihoon.”

“What?”

“You should take a break.”

“I have a lot of work to do.”

“I know that,” Soonyoung sighs, rolling over so he’s on his stomach and his elbows are perched on the edge of Jihoon’s bed. “But I also know you can afford to rest every now and then. You’ll still get everything done on time.”

“I’d rather get this done as soon as possible. I’m trying to figure out how we’ll set up the car? I guess we’ll have to ask the art students to make a model of it for the show.”

Soonyoung groans, and when Jihoon still doesn’t look at him, he groans louder. “Jihoon, _please_. I need attention.” And Jihoon, being the horrendous simp that he is, complies. He supposes he always has enough attention to spare for Soonyoung.

“What do you want?” he sighs, shutting his laptop and looking at his friend. Soonyoung’s eyes go wide suddenly, and he smiles in a way that immediately puts Jihoon on edge. He just _knows_ he’s about to say something stupid.

Moving again so he’s sitting up with his legs crossed, Soonyoung starts, “Okay, so. I was thinking.”

“ … About what?”

“I’m not sure how you’ll react, because it’s kind of crazy, but I really need you to hear me out, because – “

“What is it?”

Soonyoung chews his lip, still smiling like a freak. “So … you know I have to kiss Chaeyoung for the play.”

Jihoon’s stomach drops. He clears his throat. “Yeah, I know that. What about it?”

“I’m nervous about it.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve never kissed anyone before!”

“That’s a lie,” Jihoon scoffs. “You kissed Wonwoo at homecoming.”

“Hey,” Soonyoung scowls, “we all promised we would never talk about that again.”

“Well, it’s true. You did kiss him.”

“But it was _awful._ Like, the worst. I didn’t know anything about kissing then but I still knew we did it wrong … and I haven’t kissed anyone since. Jihoon, I can’t give Chaeyoung a first-time, homecoming-level kiss, that’s just too embarrassing.”

“And what am I supposed to do about it?”

Soonyoung’s grin widens. Something clicks in Jihoon’s mind. All at once he begins to feel like there’s a pit of quicksand inside him, and his heart has fallen into it; it sinks, painfully slow, and heavy, wet sand sits like a boulder in his stomach. He doesn’t even wait for Soonyoung to respond.

“No,” he says, flatly.

“ _Please_.”

“Absolutely not. This might be your worst idea.”

“Why? What’s so bad about it?”

“Soonyoung, I’m your friend. I’m not going to _kiss_ you for practice.”

“You being my friend is what makes it so perfect, though! We know each other like the back of each other’s hands, we’re comfortable with each other, and I seriously don’t think anything – anything at all, let alone a stupid kiss – could ruin that for us.” Jihoon wants to get up and run far, far away from his own house, but he forces himself to stay put in his chair and look Soonyoung dead in the eyes.

“Why can’t you practice with Chae?”

“Psh, that’s embarrassing. I just told you, this works great _because_ we’re friends. I can screw it up as many times as I want and I won’t feel bad about it.”

Jihoon splutters, “As many times as you want? Jesus, Soonyoung, how many times do you plan on doing this?”

“As many times as I need to, or as many times as you’re willing. We’ll see what comes first.”

Jihoon’s brain goes haywire; it’s a mess of burning buildings and screaming, panicked thoughts telling him to think fast, don’t take too long to answer, and don’t say yes – but don’t say no, because that’ll be suspicious – _but_ _do not say yes you idiot what are you thinking_ –

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Soonyoung tells him. “I get why it might seem weird. But I wouldn’t think it’s weird. It would be super helpful, and I’ll never mention it again. It’ll be like it never happened.”

On the one hand, Jihoon thinks, kissing Soonyoung is the worst thing he could do. What if he messes up, gets nervous and makes it awkward? What if Soonyoung is wrong, and this _does_ ruin something – maybe not their whole friendship, but a part of it?

On the other hand, maybe Soonyoung is right. It’ll be meaningless and quick, and they’ll never have to speak of it again. Soonyoung will appreciate his help. Jihoon won’t look weird for blowing things out of proportion. And, he thinks, he’ll probably never have another chance to know what it feels like to kiss Soonyoung.

A small part of him crawls into a corner and dies out of shame when he says, “Okay, fine.” Soonyoung nearly jumps for joy, but stops short when Jihoon shuts him down swiftly with a wave of his hand. “But you promise you won’t tell anyone we did this.”

Soonyoung nods seriously, swiping his finger across his chest. “I swear.”

He turns his body and pats a spot in front of him on the mattress, signalling for Jihoon to come sit with him, and Jihoon reluctantly moves. They sit so their knees are touching, Jihoon shoving his hands in his lap and fiddling with his thumbs. “I don’t know why you’re so worried about what Chaeyoung will think,” he mumbles. “It’s not like you’re trying to impress her.” His ears twitch at the thought, and he asks, “Wait, are you?” Soonyoung laughs.

“God, no. Chae is nice and all, but I’m not into her. Also, I don’t think she’d ever let herself date a man. She’s got too much self-respect.”

“Then why are you so – ?”

“It’s just the principle of it, Jihoon. I don’t wanna be the guy in the play who’s a shitty kisser. It’s less about her and more about me.”

Jihoon wants to tell him that’s silly, that no one will think of him like that, but he forgets how to speak when Soonyoung starts to lean in.

Jihoon tries not to see Soonyoung, but he sees him nonetheless; like sunlight, even when he isn’t looking directly at him, Soonyoung is there at the corner of his vision, blinding him.

He feels a hand come up to his chin, pushing his head up slightly, and then Jihoon has no choice but to look at Soonyoung’s face. He’s smiling, as if this is easy. As if it’s nothing.

He says, “You’re gonna have to raise your head for this.”

“Shut up. I thought you didn’t know anything about kissing.”

“I know _some_ stuff,” Soonyoung chuckles.

Jihoon has a second, maybe two, to brace himself. He takes a deep breath and lets his eyes flutter shut so he can’t see the distance closing between their mouths, but he can feel it, he can feel the air getting warmer, his palms getting sweatier, his heart beating faster.

And then it happens. They kiss.

It’s quick, just a press of their lips together. Short and sweet and Jihoon can feel a shiver starting at the bottom of his spine, but he doesn’t give it time to work its way up. He opens his eyes and starts to say something – something like _See? Just do that during the play, that was easy_ – but his words never reach the open air.

Unexpectedly, and so suddenly Jihoon thinks he might be dreaming it, Soonyoung kisses him again, and the sentence dies in his throat.

This time, it’s tender. It’s slower, lasts longer. Jihoon’s train of thought runs to a far-off place, someplace dreamy, in the clouds, where he doesn’t get to freak out over what’s happening, but he gets to be a part of it.

He shudders involuntarily when Soonyoung’s hands come up to rest on each side of his face, thumbs pressing against his jaw and rubbing silent, murky patterns against his skin. Jihoon swears he isn’t delusional, but they fit together perfectly; when he lets himself lean in further, lets his hands move from his lap to Soonyoung’s, tilting his head instinctively, he feels like cookie dough being pressed into its mould. He turns to putty, he becomes soft and malleable under Soonyoung’s touch, overcome with the taste of sugar and mint. Jihoon doesn’t stop him. He does more than not stop him. He kisses him back.

He expects sirens to go off once they break away from each other, a rush of nerves and adrenaline and a horrible, burning embarrassment running from his face to his collar. But instead, he’s strangely calm. He wants to do it again.

Before he can – or, before he can stupidly, impulsively let himself try – Soonyoung laughs. Jihoon blinks at him, confused.

“Hey, that was pretty good. Maybe I underestimated myself. Who knew I had it in me, right?”

Jihoon laughs too, but it comes out sounding weak and unnerved. “Not me, definitely.”

“I think I’m going to knock Chaeyoung off her feet.”

“Yeah, right. I don’t think she’ll give you a second thought.”

He hesitates before going back to his desk, slotting uncertainly into his chair with his knees pressed to his chest. He doesn’t even try getting back to work, he just sits and stares at the floor, feeling delirious.

So that’s it, he supposes. Soonyoung promised they’d do it and never talk about it after, and he probably intends on keeping that promise. Jihoon realizes that he’s never wanted Soonyoung so bad in his life, in all his years of knowing him, of wanting him, he’s never longed for him as much as he does right in this moment.

He knew this would be his only chance to kiss Soonyoung. He didn’t anticipate it hurting this much afterward.

**27 NOVEMBER**

At their next rehearsal, Jihoon tries his best to act like everything’s normal. He thinks he does a good job of it, considering he’s been doing that, in a way, for the last two years. Soonyoung excels at it though, and Jihoon feels that like a cold metal rod prodding at his ribs. He hasn’t stopped thinking about the kiss since it happened. Soonyoung probably hasn’t thought of it since he left Jihoon’s house that night.

It’s so bad. It’s really, really bad. Jihoon thought it was bad _before_ – it’s gotten worse. It’s at the point where he can’t so much as look at Soonyoung without getting slight palpitations; when he walks into the room, Jihoon’s heart beats so, so fast, to the point that it feels like an engine ready to blow after running too hard. He feels burning hot every time Soonyoung brushes against him, and when that happens, he wants to tear his skin away, take it off like a dirty shirt and feel clean again. But he can’t. He’s stuck inside his body, with his frazzled brain and his dumb heart, and the feelings won’t stop.

It doesn’t help that Seungkwan seems to have it out for him.

“You guys ever think about marriage?” he asks at one point, literally out of nowhere, and Jihoon glares in his direction.

“Not very often, no,” he says. “In fact, right now, I’m thinking about what I’m going to write when I do the rehearsal report. ‘Boo Seungkwan: Late 10 minutes with no excuse’ is on my mind.”

“It was just a question!”

“Why?”

“I’m only curious.”

Jihoon glances at Vernon standing nearby, rummaging through his bag. He freezes and looks up at Seungkwan with what Jihoon can only describe as a look of sheer terror. He asks, laughing, “Are you trying to plan yours and Vernon’s wedding?”

“No. But for what it’s worth, the colors will be ivory, pink, and green.”

Vernon practically wilts. “Don’t stress me out like this, please.”

“I think about it sometimes,” Soonyoung interjects. “Like, I dunno. Having a family would be nice.”

“You need to stop acting like a child before you can consider having one of your own,” Jeonghan tells him pointedly. Jihoon is pretty sure he’s only half kidding.

Soonyoung frowns. “I don’t act like a child.”

“You wear tiger pajamas to sleep and complain when the candy shop doesn’t have your favorite flavor lollipop.”

“Those aren’t _childish_ , they’re preferences. And anyway, Jihoon would keep me in check.” Jihoon stiffens at the sound of his own name, straightening to squint at Soonyoung.

“What are you talking about?”

“You wouldn’t let me be a terrible father, would you?”

“If I have any influence, then no. Obviously not.”

“You’ll have an influence. Who knows, you might even co-parent with me.”

There’s a loud snort from someone behind him, maybe Chan, but Jihoon doesn’t turn to look. He freezes and stares at Soonyoung, brows raised and mouth opened wide in horror, the blood practically draining from his face. Behind Soonyoung, Seungkwan struggles to stifle his laughter.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Our pact, remember?” It takes him a moment, but when Jihoon does remember, he has to smother the urge to walk over and just deck Soonyoung entirely.

Vernon’s eyes shift between them. He asks, “A pact?”

Soonyoung nods. “Like, a pact to get married. If we’re both a certain age and still single, we’ll just marry each other.”

Seungkwan, who’s just managed to calm himself down, loses it all over again. He nearly shouts, “You guys made a _pact?_ ”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, shamelessly, to Jihoon’s mortification. “We made rules for it, too, Jihoon even had a fake contract drawn up. It was like, no hand-holding, no kissing, no sleeping in the same bed, no doing what mommies and daddies do – “ Jihoon walks over – just about runs – and cuts him off with a swift punch to the shoulder.

“We made those rules when we were ten years old, idiot.”

Soonyoung winces and rubs his shoulder dramatically, but like a puppy hearing its leash rattle, he perks up. “Are you saying you changed your mind? You _do_ wanna do what mommies and – ”

“ _No_.”

“Then what’s the point? That’s not being married, that – that’s just, like, being roommates pretty much.”

“The _point_ ,” Jihoon starts, and this is when his face starts to go a little pink out of premature embarrassment, “is being able to say that you’re married when you go to your high school reunion, and wearing pretty wedding rings so when my friends are like, oh my God, that’s a gorgeous ring, I can say, ‘Yeah, my husband picked it for me,’ and also being able to plan a beautiful wedding with someone who actually has taste – “

Soonyoung coos, reaching to grab Jihoon’s face. He squishes his cheeks so his lips pucker like a fish, and Jihoon gives up on trying to shove him away. “You’re so cute, Jihoonie. You think I have taste?”

“No,” Jihoon splutters. “Absolutely not. You almost wore a Hawaiian shirt to school today.”

From halfway across the stage, Jun rolls his eyes. “You two are practically married already, anyway. Just get it over with.”

“I can’t get married now,” Soonyoung gapes, letting his hands fall. “I’m seventeen! I have my whole life ahead of me. What if I meet someone I actually like?” He grins suddenly, as if this is something really, really funny. He looks back at Jihoon. “Then we wouldn't have to get married, right?”

Jihoon’s not oblivious to the look that passes over Jun’s face, or Seungkwan’s, or anyone else around them – the silent _yikes_ Seungkwan mouths at Vernon when Soonyoung isn’t looking. And it does hurt, a little. Or maybe a lot. He tries to laugh it off like he isn’t offended, but he has a feeling his smile comes out as more of a grimace.

“I can literally only hope.”

_**a couple of things to note:** _

_\- i don’t hate heechul i actually don’t rlly know anything about him at all (except that he has a hot gf). his role in this is just to be a somewhat annoying side character for comedic purposes lol_

_\- i refer to “the state” that they live in a bunch of times throughout this, but i never actually specify which state that is ! that’s because i don’t know shit about korean schooling and it felt awkward to drop seventeen in some random european country, so it was just easier to refer to the states in general. the exact location they’re in literally doesn’t matter at all lol but if you really want to ur more than welcome to picture them anywhere from tennessee to germany to korea, idc <3 _

_\- year levels basically go like this: 95 liners are seniors, 96 are juniors, 97+98 are sophomores, and lil baby dino is a freshman </3 they all got to know each other through doing drama and that’s how they became so close despite not all being in the same grades uwu_

_\- i’ve honestly only helped out with 1 play before and my knowledge on theatre is not at all extensive, so a lot of this is coming from my own research. i might get a few things wrong, but please be patient with me !_

_\- also if you’ve never watched grease before there might be a few references you don’t get, but overall this should still be readable :-)_


	2. Chapter 2

**1 DECEMBER**

**JIHOON PLANS ON** spending his free block that morning in the auditorium, reviewing the script with Seokmin and Seungcheol, who also have frees, and putting together a prompt book for the actors’ cues and other show requirements.

The hall is bustling with kids hopping between classrooms, trying to get in their morning chatter before the first bell rings. On his way to the auditorium, he passes a small girl – probably a freshman, judging by her stature. She has this bouncing enthusiasm that Jihoon thinks is unreal for anyone at this time of morning, and a type of naive, optimistic smile that almost makes him envy her. He thinks he’s seen her before. Yoojung, maybe is her name? She stands outside what’s probably her homeroom, clutching some papers and a pen, and her eyes turn into full moons when she sees him coming her way.

“Wait up!” she calls to him, catching him  _ just _ as he’s about to pass her. Jihoon groans internally.

“Yeah?” he asks weakly. “Sorry, I’m kind of in a hurry.”

“Would you sign this petition?” Yoojung holds a page up to his face, with lots of messy, inky black signatures scrawled on it. “It’s for the art department’s funding. Just two seconds to write your name, please? Aw, c’mon, it takes no time at all,” she adds when he opens his mouth to protest. Jihoon winces when her puppy-dog face turns into something a lot more serious and judgmental.

He sighs and gives in, grabbing the pen she offers him. Using the wall as a makeshift clipboard to write on, he asks, “Who’s this going to, anyway? Is it actually going to do anything?” Yoojung blinks.

“Well, yeah. I mean, it could. If we gather enough signatures, the school can file a referendum and make an appeal to the county to maintain our funding.”

“But … I mean, how would that work? Like our school is special? The state can’t just pick and choose who to give money to.”

“Technically not, but it’s the only one in the county with such a big arts program. As far as the local government is concerned, it’s supposed to cut funding for all nonessential programs in schools, but that doesn’t have to mean arts, necessarily. We just need to show why arts are so important for us as an institution, versus … I dunno, sports.”

“Huh.” It’s fine. Jihoon doesn’t care about PE that much, anyway.

He scans the page one more time before standing up straight, looking at her; she’s a small thing, refusing to stand still and looking at him with such sad eyes, she could pass for a kicked puppy. But he remembers her earlier look and gets the feeling that she’s dead serious about this, and he commends her for her effort. Passing the paper back to her, Jihoon says, “Okay, cool. Hopefully everything works out, then.” Yoojung thanks him about a dozen times by the time he manages to get away.

When he gets into the auditorium, he finds Seokmin and Seungcheol already sitting on the floor, scripts open, and Soonyoung is with them.

“Don’t you have class right now?” he asks, making his way over to the group.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung answers, “but it’s math, and I decided that math at 9 am is simply too much to handle. I’m skipping.”

“Risky. That means you have the whole rest of the day to possibly run into your teacher.”

“If she asks, I’ll say I had a doctor’s appointment.”

Soonyoung looks cute in the morning, is what Jihoon thinks as he sits down next to him. He’s not much of a morning person, and it shows: ruffled hair, puffy eyes. Soonyoung’s lips fix themselves into a tired pout that usually lasts for a while before he wakes up fully, and Jihoon likes to see him like this. Unfiltered, wholesome. Little pink splotches on his cheek where it pressed against his hand the night before, waiting to fade away. It’s sweet, even if he is a little cranky.

They cover some basic things – Vernon’s lighting cues, a list of requirements for Minghao to consider when he works on costumes – but morning time is never the most productive time, and really, Jihoon doesn’t know what he was expecting when he rubs his eyes and decides to stop. Soonyoung probably notices how tired he is, because he puts his arm around his shoulders and pulls him in close. Jihoon lets his head fall against him.

“How much did you sleep last night?”

“Enough,” Jihoon says, not wanting another lecture on his sleeping habits. “It’s just too early to think about this.”

Seokmin looks at them long enough for Jihoon to feel a little self-conscious, before suggesting, “Hey, why don’t we all go to the convenience store after school today? We can grab some snacks and hang out, relax for a little while.” They all agree that it’s a good idea, and Seokmin sends a text to their groupchat to see who else is in.

“We can ride our bikes there,” Seungcheol says. Jihoon frowns.

“I didn’t bring my bike today.”

“You didn’t?”

“No? It’s the beginning of December? It’s fucking cold, I just asked my mom to drive me.”

“Aww,” Soonyoung sways, and Jihoon moves with him. “Cute. I noticed you broke out your collection of huge-ass sweaters. I took it as a sign that winter is officially here.”

“Shut up, I love my sweaters. They’re comfy.”

“I’m not judging! I love them, too. They make you look even smaller than you really are.”

Jihoon sits up to glare at him, and he’s about to poke Soonyoung hard in the side of his stomach when the boy laughs. “I’m just messing with you,” he says, and pulls Jihoon back down, who has to pretend he doesn’t notice Seokmin and Seungcheol staring at them.

“Anyway, you can just ride my bike with me.”

“It’s not a two-seater, though.”

“That’s fine. You take the seat, I’ll just pedal standing up.”

“What if you crash?”

Soonyoung scoffs. “I know how to ride a bike, Jihoon. One extra person won’t mess me up.”

“Are you sure about that?” Seungcheol asks. “I’ve seen you trip over your own two feet before.”

“Hey, shush. Do I look like Kim Mingyu? I can do this.”

“You don’t have to prove yourself,” Jihoon jokes, smiling back at Seungcheol – one of his oldest friends, and also his partner in crime when it comes to teasing Soonyoung. “It’s okay if you don’t know how to ride a – “

“I know how to ride a bike,” Soonyoung cuts, jerking his shoulder. “Don’t bully me, or I’ll push you off.” Jihoon laughs.

“No you won’t.”

“I will.” It’s quiet for a moment, and then, “Okay, yeah. I won’t.”

And maybe he’s just drowsy, but Jihoon decides he doesn’t care too much about the pointed looks he gets from his friends, or if he’s being really cheesy and obvious. For now – or maybe always – he’s terribly fond of Soonyoung.

+

The only people who couldn’t come with them are Vernon, who had to tutor after school, and Mingyu, who had plans to cook dinner for his family tonight.

“I can’t believe you  _ all _ biked to school today,” Jihoon complains again, seven hours later when the rest of them are standing at the bike rack. Students mill around them, either waiting for their buses or for their parents to come pick them up. Jihoon is bundled in a thick-ish sweater with sleeves long enough for him to ball up the fabric in his palms and squeeze, but he can still feel the chill on his skin. He shudders. “It’s so cold.” Soonyoung laughs in his direction while undoing the lock on his bike.

“It’s not that bad. Do you want my hoodie?”

“What do you have underneath?”

“A t-shirt.”

Jihoon shakes his head. “No, keep it.”

“If you say so. Here, hop on.” Soonyoung nods and pats the seat, which Jihoon eyes wearily. Only after Soonyoung assures him  _ again _ that he won’t run them into a bush does he climb on.

“What if I fall?” he worries, chewing his lip. “Or I mess up your balance, and we both fall?”

“You won’t fall, just hold on to me.”

So Jihoon reluctantly puts his hands on Soonyoung’s waist, holding him with what is probably a much tighter grip than necessary, and Soonyoung positions both his hands on the handlebars. “Just make sure your feet don’t touch the ground, and we’ll be fine.” And then they’re off.

It’s not a long trip, maybe fifteen minutes, but Soonyoung is the personification of gay and caffeinated – he thinks he can make it twelve. He pedals fast and makes sharp turns at every corner, and Jihoon has to squeeze him tighter and tighter until he turns around to ask, “You okay?” and slows down a little. Once he does that, Jihoon feels himself relax.

It’s actually a nice day for a bike ride, despite all his whining about the cold weather. The air works against them as they’re riding, nipping at their cheeks until Jihoon is sure they’ve gone totally pink, but Soonyoung feels like a human heat pack in his arms. The sky is pretty, too, a pale baby blue with clouds so thin and dispersed, they look like papery sheets of frost spreading across a window. The trees pass them in a blur of muted green. Jihoon thinks he can hear himself laughing for no reason, except that maybe the wind is pulling his joy out of him for everyone to hear. When they arrive, Soonyoung hops off the bike and looks at him.

Jihoon feels the air rush out of his lungs. Soonyoung’s cheeks are bright red, his hair swept back from the wind. His chest rises and falls quickly and Jihoon’s heart beats in time with it. There’s a look in Soonyoung’s eyes, a glimmer, and they stare at each other until Wonwoo coughs and asks, “You guys coming?”

“Huh?” Soonyoung blinks, but doesn’t take his eyes off of Jihoon. “Oh, yeah. Yeah. Coming.”

Soonyoung locks up his bike and they walk into the convenience store together, trailing after the rest of their friends. Inside, it’s warm, and Jihoon practically melts into the atmosphere. He doesn’t realize that his fingers have gone numb until they start gaining back their ning feeling, and he flexes them, grabbing a bottle of coke from the fridge.

They decide to chill in the parking lot after paying for their stuff, since they have nowhere else to go and none of their parents are particularly keen on having eleven teenage boys in their house. Jihoon rubs his hands together, and Soonyoung nudges him.

“You sure you don’t want my hoodie?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Jihoon isn’t really sure – he’s cold as hell and Soonyoung’s hoodies somehow feel cozier than any others – but the last thing he wants is Soonyoung himself catching a cold.

“So, you guys ready to be all lovey-dovey with the Pink Ladies?” Josh says, raising his eyebrows tauntingly. “I mean, maybe for Jun it won’t be so bad, since he flirts with anything that breathes as it is – “ to which Jun doesn’t even argue “ – but Seungkwan, how will you do it?”

“Real mature,” Seungkwan huffs. “It’s a school play. It’s  _ acting _ . No big deal.”

“And anyway,” Jihoon adds, “Seungkwan’s character gets the least action in the entire musical, so.” Laughter ripples through them, except for Seungkwan, who scowls in Jihoon’s direction.

“I’m not really excited for it,” Chan says, looking abnormally shy. “Momo is like, three years older than me, and she looks at me like I’m a baby. We tried running through our lines last rehearsal, and she had to stop every two minutes to tell me I’m adorable.”

“You are the future, Lee Chan,” Soonyoung says, and he looks at Chan so seriously he might not be joking at all. “Your Oscars are waiting for you. Besides, count yourselves lucky that none of you have to kiss your partners. Even Jun’s makeout scene got cut.”

Jun frowns. “Yeah, why’d they do that?”

“It wasn’t appropriate, believe it or not. Parents don’t really want to see teenagers acting out an almost-sex-scene.”

“Oh, but your kiss scene is fine?”

“It’s hardly even a kiss. A  _ peck _ , maybe.”

Soonyoung and Jun start to bicker about whether or not it’s a real kiss –  _ “They go full on the mouth in the movie, for at least five seconds.” – “Yeah, but that’s not the same as you and Jihyo having borderline car sex on stage.”  _ – and Jihoon keeps his expression neutral, but his heart speeds up and he can’t help thinking back to his kiss with Soonyoung. Of  _ course _ he can’t. The thought alone makes his chest feel uncomfortably hot. That kiss, the second time – was that a peck? Was that anywhere near what Soonyoung and Chaeyoung will do on stage? He doubts it. So what was it for?

Soonyoung is sitting on the curb, and Jihoon is sitting on the street. He notices the other boy’s legs are outstretched and, without thinking, lays down on the ground so his head is resting on them. Soonyoung doesn’t even flinch.

He’s not sure why he does it, since Soonyoung is usually the touchy one, the one who initiates skinship and affection, and Jihoon typically just gives into it. But he’s not sure he really cares, either. He closes his eyes and tries hard to focus on the conversation that’s still going instead of how comfortable it is to lay like this, but there’s a blip in his train of thought when Soonyoung starts playing with his hair.

It’s soothing, the light massaging, Soonyoung’s fingers untangling the parts that had gotten messy throughout the day. Jihoon tries not to react, but it probably shows how content he is. He’s like a cat getting head pats. He realizes he doesn’t feel so cold anymore.

Soonyoung’s voice brings him back to the forefront of reality, though. Someone mentioned Seungcheol acting as co-director to Heechul, and Jihoon opens his eyes to find Seungcheol, sweet as ever, looking bashful. He’s trying to wave them off.

“No, it’s actually perfect,” Soonyoung tells him. “I mean, nobody really takes Heechul seriously, but everybody trusts you, Cheol. You keep Heechul on track, you’re hardworking and determined. People actually respect you.”

And Soonyoung is totally right, there could be no one better suited to the job than Seungcheol. He’s got this calming, easy-going aura that makes him easy to work with, but he’s always been sturdy, always committed. No one works as hard as he does.

Soonyoung adds, “I can’t believe you’re gonna balance this with studying for your finals.”

“Don’t burn yourself out,” Jihoon murmurs. He feels the focus shift to him, but keeps his eyes trained on the sky. The thin wisps of cotton floating overhead threaten to suck him up into the blue, but Soonyoung’s fingers carding through his hair keep him grounded. “You push yourself so hard.”

“I won’t,” Seungcheol reassures them.

Jihoon’s view shifts, so he’s no longer looking up at the sky but looking up at Soonyoung; Soonyoung, whose face opens up like a bright full moon when Jihoon sees him, whose eyes turn into soft, laughter-worn crescents at even the worst of times. Soonyoung, who always knows what to say.

Soonyoung speaks softly to Seungcheol. “It’s okay to take breaks, you know. It’s even okay to not do your best sometimes. We can’t always give our all, because then we’ll have nothing left for ourselves. So, even though we’re telling you how great you are for this role, we won’t think any less if you decide to take it easy. You can always ask us for help.”

Jihoon loves this. He lives for it. He lives for the way they can always depend on each other for care and comfort. Those words aren’t for him, but he wants to tell Soonyoung that he’s thankful for him, that he’s so, so grateful to have someone so kind and selfless looking out for them. They all are, for each other.

When he looks over, Seungcheol is smiling softly.

“Thanks for worrying, you guys. You know I need to hear it sometimes.”

**3 DECEMBER**

Jihoon has the flu.

It’s terribly inconvenient, because they’re supposed to have a rehearsal today, but Jeonghan told him a hundred times to stay in bed and not come to school, “since we’d much rather have one stage manager absent rather than present to get the entire crew sick.” He hates it, but it is logical. And anyway, Josh will do a fine job of filling in for him.

He should’ve known it would happen though, and he kind of did. When they went home from the convenience store that day, he could feel the cold settling underneath his skin, the stuffiness starting up in his nose. Soonyoung had dropped him off at his house and said, “Take a hot shower and drink some tea, you’re not looking too good.” Even feeling terrible, it was lovely to hear.

Now he’s laying in bed feeling bad for himself, because he can’t breathe through his nose and his throat feels like an angry kitten decided to tear it up. His body feels heavy with fatigue and illness. He’s also agitated, already annoyed at being sick but even  _ more _ annoyed because no one is home to take care of him. His parents have to work. He’s needy. He’s complaining over text to Soonyoung.

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:12]: this sucks kill me _

**_Soonyoung_ ** _ [11:12]: i told you to take my hoodie _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:13]: no stupid, then you would be sick _

**_Soonyoung_ ** _ : [11:13]: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ _

He sighs, staring pathetically around his room. It’s flurrying outside, and inside it’s a mess of crumpled up tissues that didn’t make it into the bin and empty tea mugs. His laptop is open, but try as he might, he doesn’t have the mental strength to do any work. He looks back at his phone.

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:15]: i feel so shitty _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:15]: and alone _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:15]: and lonely _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:16]: soonyoung _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:16]: soonyounggggg _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:16]: soonyoung answer meeeeee _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:17]: hello!!!!! _

**_Soonyoung_ ** _ [11:17]: jesus chill out i was taking notes _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:17]: oh so NOW you decide to pay attention in class. very nice _

**_Soonyoung_ ** _ [11:18]: give me like 30mins _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:18]: for what?? _

Soonyoung doesn’t respond after that, and Jihoon gives up on spamming him to get a reply. He resorts to staring at his ceiling and debating whether or not it’s worth it to get up to use the bathroom.

He doesn’t realize how much time has passed while doing that (he honestly thinks he might’ve blacked out) until his phone buzzes, and he picks it up stupidly fast.

**_Soonyoung_ ** _ [11:42]: is ur door unlocked _

Jihoon scoffs to himself.

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:42]: yeah i leave it open for strangers to walk in as they please _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:42]: god you ask stupid questions _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:42]: also it’s been more than 30 minutes _

**_Soonyoung_ ** _ [11:43]: holy shit ur cranky _

**_Soonyoung_ ** _ [11:43]: exert yourself for 2 seconds pls and open ur front door _

**_Jihoon_ ** _ [11:43]: oh my godddddddd _

But he gets up anyway, because he already knows what’s coming and there’s an excitement bubbling in his chest, little butterflies knocking around clumsily inside him, and he goes to get the door.

Soonyoung stands on the other side. He’s looking a little ruffled from rushing over, but smiling big nonetheless, and he pulls Jihoon into a hug so forcefully Jihoon actually yelps in surprise.

“Dude,” he wheezes, “I will sneeze on you.”

Soonyoung squeezes him tighter, his voice coming out muffled. “You poor, sick baby, you look terrible.”

“Gosh, thanks.”

Soonyoung lets go of him, but keeps his hands on Jihoon’s shoulders. “Get back to bed. I’ll make you soup.”

“You really didn’t have to – “

Soonyoung shushes him, spinning him around and walking him towards his bedroom. “I wanted to. For you, and also because I had history next block.”

“You can’t keep skipping class, you know.”

“I don’t do it  _ that _ often.”

Jihoon doesn’t get the chance to nag him about it anymore because Soonyoung beats him to it, coddling him like a mother hen and tucking him back into bed – and that’s not an exaggeration, Soonyoung actually  _ tucks _ him into bed, bringing the blanket up to his chin and folding the edges underneath his mattress. Jihoon lets him, but he can’t help rolling his eyes when Soonyoung presses the back of his hand to his forehead.

“Isn’t this a bit much?”

“Oh, hush,” Soonyoung mutters. “You’ll never admit it, but I know you like being waited on.”

“I do  _ not _ – “

He doesn’t finish. He could, but Soonyoung hurries out of his room before he can get the chance to hear it, and Jihoon promptly shuts his mouth in frustration. He can’t tell if his face is burning from fever or from embarrassment.

Soonyoung isn’t wrong, either. At some point, probably when he was still a young, impressionable kid, he got this idea in his head that emotions are yucky and vulnerability is humiliating; it always felt safer to act neutral rather than to show how he was feeling. In reality – believe it or not – Jihoon has feelings, and he’s found that he quite likes being doted on, sometimes.

Now, he knows better. He knows that’s perfectly fine. Meeting people and actually making friends proved to him that relationships thrive on that vulnerability, but the habit of suppressing his feelings had ingrained itself in him deeply – like, annoyingly deep. It’s one of those things he’s been trying really hard to overcome. It’s somewhat of a struggle.

Soonyoung has helped, though.

Of course, all his friends have helped, but Soonyoung is the one with zero boundaries. He’s the one who doesn’t make excuses and refuses to simply leave Jihoon alone, no matter how many times Jihoon tells him to. Soonyoung tells him over and over again that it’s okay to open up and that it isn’t so horrible to ask for affection, even if it’s just because he’s sick and needy. Soonyoung fusses over him even though he pretends to hate it, Soonyoung checks his temperature and makes him hot soup to warm his chest; Soonyoung takes care of Jihoon like he loves him, and Jihoon supposes that maybe he does, in his own way.

The thought makes him want to melt into a puddle. He still scowls when Soonyoung comes back into the room with a cold washcloth, pressing it to his forehead.

“Okay, now  _ really _ , this is unnecessary.”

“You know what, Jihoon? You’re like a bubblegum lollipop. Hard and crunchy on the outside, but soft and chewy on the inside.” Jihoon lets out an ugly noise, somewhere between a growl and a gurgle.

“Don’t call me crunchy and do not call me chewy, I hate you.”

“You love me.”

Jihoon goes quiet. Any sort of retort he can think of dissolves before it can be said. And Soonyoung must notice it because he smiles a little, exhaling a puff of air, a laugh as light as a feather. Jihoon’s heart leaps to his throat.

It’s not uncomfortable, per say, but something in the atmosphere shifts; the air is cooler, crisp, it feels a little more raw. Like a thin sheet of ice, Jihoon thinks one rough touch could shatter it. “What will we do with you?” Soonyoung murmurs. “You’re hot to the touch.”

“I’m really fine.”

“You were whining over text half an hour ago.”

Jihoon chews the inside of his cheek, looking anywhere but at Soonyoung leaning over him. He says, “That was before you came into my house and started mothering me. Even Jeonghan didn’t think to do that, and he’s the designated mom friend.”

“Yeah, but I’m your  _ best _ friend.”

“Oh.”

Soonyoung is awfully close to him. This is just one of a thousand images Jihoon has of him – sometimes upbeat and energetic, dancing around in bright, dazzling flares; or something like this, something gentler. A forest after rain. The smell of wood and leaves dewing in the humidity. His hair falling in front of his eyes, which look so concentrated when he folds the wet cloth and sucks in a breath. Soonyoung is so loud sometimes, in the loveliest way, like a burst of brilliant color on a blank canvas – but at times like these, he can be so soft, so quiet. A wildflower tucked away where it can grow without being stepped on.

“You shouldn’t skip rehearsal today,” Jihoon says, weakly, because his throat is sore as fuck and he can practically feel the energy seeping out of him. Soonyoung stops messing with the cloth and sits down at the edge of Jihoon’s bed, next to his legs.

“I won’t. I’ve got a couple more hours ‘till then, anyway, so I’ll just keep you company and make sure you’re alright until it’s time for me to go. I mean, if you don’t mind.”

Jihoon’s first thought is to crack a joke like  _ Yeah, sure I mind, _ but he’s too tired to even try. He closes his eyes, moving to lay on his side. “Thanks for coming,” he says softly. “You were right. I’d never admit it, but I like it when it’s you.”

He feels warm and cozy, perfectly relaxed. He dozes off so quickly, he never gets the chance to see how Soonyoung looks at him.

**Author's Note:**

> the playlist for this is titled "lemony cheesecake" on spotify (under the user @ conphused) <3


End file.
